saltire

by freya crescent

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about

in an alternate universe, this album is called "Saint Anger"

this is an album about recovering from a suicide attempt while in a state of isolation and depression, as well as the beginnings of learning to reach towards the concept of self-improvement as an ethical choice to better the lives of others.

no profits are to be made from this music. any proceeds from the sale of this album will be donated to the organization PAAR (Pittsburgh Action Against Rape): paar.net

credits

released November 13, 2015

written, arranged, performed, recorded by c.f. cessna

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

freya crescent Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

please let me exist i'm not hurting anyone just let me exist i'm not hurting anyone just let me exist i'm not hurting anyone just let me exist i'm not hurting anyone just let me exist i'm not hurting anyone just let me exist i'm not hurting anyone just let me exist i'm not hurting anyone just let me exist i'm not hurting anyone just let me exist i'm not hurting anyone just let me exist ... more

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Track Name: i am living in a dream, but i know it's a dream
eyes like a raccoon’s, a voice like a child’s.
bared rows of sharp fangs when it smiled.
it swallowed me, it choked me down.

now i live my life underneath the ground.
nobody sees me. nobody hears me.
at least, for now.
Track Name: unreal tournament
pink dots on the table
and floating in front of my eyes,
burning a hole in my pocket
and searing the back of my mind.

i hit my head hard on the corner of the wood.
i hit my head hard, and fell down right where i'd stood.
i scraped up both my hands, and i tumbled like some dice.
i slipped without the ice. i'm clumsy but i'm nice.
yeah, at least i'm nice.
Track Name: power overwhelming
kitchen knife tears a hole in the sky.
stars get born, stars die.
kitchen knife tears a hole in the sky.

stars get born, then stars die.
i've been born. end is nigh.

people are born, then they die.
will people mourn when i die?
when i die, end is nigh.
Track Name: a ritual-like expression of disgust
i remember you, porcupine.
barbed-wire legs. scratch all night.
weak systems catch a cold.
dysphoric and vulnerable.

i'm stuck with the mess.
no one else is going to clean it up.
i strive for “success” but expect much worse.

pins and needles, prickly.
ants and beetles, centipedes
crawling all across my body.

scarabs on my face.
Anubis, find me well.
Track Name: a cell phone photo of a really bright star
a bump on the neck. stab it to drain.
out of saliva. no stranger to pain.

face too funny to break.
too much money to lose.
living in the red but stuck on the blues.

a harpoon, a harpoon, a harpoon
Track Name: st. andrew's cross
i am alone except for the eyes
peering down at me from every wall.
they do not blink.
no, they don’t blink at all.

i am alone except for the voices,
like drums in the darkness of the hall.
so loud i can't hear myself think.

thinking i'm something that i know i'm not.
i know just what they want.
i hope i can suffer more for you.
i’m in the 9th circle, forever more to chew.

i’m not holding up well. i’m leaving this rock.
it feels like i broke both my hands.

knowing i'm something that i thought i was not.
i know just what i've got to do.
i hope i can suffer more for you.
Track Name: well... he'll fly away
this vessel is full to the brim
with thoughts of another night spent on ice.
welcome in, take your time.
help yourself. i've been fine.
close my eyes. well, that's a sign.
the know it all dropped the ball. field of mines.

i should have sprouted feathers from my skin
and taken flight.
every night i'm picking fights
that only serve to prove you right.
fill in all the blanks you can.
forgot to hit the lights.

hello, beacon.
Track Name: hell will find a way
you imagine me in freefall from a few thousand feet.
salivating for defeat.

i found a hole that fits me perfectly,
and i crush myself within it.

'cause i can't help but stretch too thin.

eviscerate a feeling. glow in the sun.
get this close? you'd scorch anyone.

uncomfortably hot.
thoughts all tied up in knots.
roasting 'till i rot,
all i see is pink dots.